yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
