we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
