Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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