but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
