"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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