the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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