do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
