Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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