I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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