do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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