i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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