my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
