Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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