She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
