Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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