you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line