I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She liked it
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"