hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.