The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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