Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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