508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
