Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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