I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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