I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
