This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
