We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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