Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I wish I only lived at night.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
