Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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