My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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