Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize