I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
40s are totally the cure
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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