I'm gonna have a badass scar
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
