shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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