I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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