That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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