btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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