Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
