I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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