Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just want nice things and good sex
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
