it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
