Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
