we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
