I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
