Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize