Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Actions speak louder than pants.
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It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
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His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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