We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
