1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
