five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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