I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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