i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
