Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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