I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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