every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
