So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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