I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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