We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize