At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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