What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
