i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
